Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Frequency Leaning

Have you noticed that it seems easier to imagine negative events bordering on the bizarre as possibilities in our lives than it does positive ones? It was for me, for much of my life. Outrageously positive events were not the substance of my daydreams, they seemed so unlikely, even impossible. Yet, fortunately it came to me that it's as likely for those outrageously positive events to occur as the negative, just by the law of averages. If we give credence to the negative possibility, then the positive tendency must also exist.

But that still means there's as much opportunity for the negative as the positive. Maybe that's why some of us don't delve into the really good stuff when we visualize, we're subconsciously thinking that if we go to excess in the positive, if it doesn't work, we may end up with an excess of the negative....so better to just stay safe and not ask for, visualize or otherwise conjure up anything to wonderful.

It sounds silly, but I know this was somehow implicit in my process for a long time and I'm thinking it may be for others unconsciously as well. So how to tip the scales in the positive favor with no fear of the down side?

There's lots of methods out there, we all know about visualization, affirmation, "The Secret". I've decided to try another method that feels really good to me right now. It has to do with alternate realities. I'm not an authority on quantum physics but I know enough to understand that there is a strong argument for the existence of an alternate reality. Living in more than one dimension. It's a bit egotistical to think, ours is the only one. There are a myriad of realities. Many that exist here on the planet and then the ones that exist elsewhere. I'm betting, that with all those choices, there's at least one of them within which, life holds outrageously, bizarrely, wonderful experiences. I've decided to shift, lean slightly off my usual center into that frequency of reality and experience there....while here.

By consciously questioning my thought patterns while awake, programming myself before sleep and generally altering my thought patterns and behavior I believe I can experience quite differently. I've already noticed some synchronicities popping up and overall a new fresher awareness and well being and it's not even Wednesday, definitely not Friday.

If anyone else has played with this, I'd enjoy hearing your experiences, I'll let you know how it's working for me, stay tuned.

Leaning into new frequencies......Christie

Conscious Love

The attachment we generally think of as love is an emotion. It arises as a feeling sense, something that comes easily, called up by an anonymous flow of good feelings in reaction to an outside stimulus that has triggered it.
Love is not this knee-jerk reaction to a stimulus. Love is a choice, it's a choice we make each day, each hour, each moment because we've made a decision. We've decided to love not because someone or something has make us feel good, but because we choose to live in a state of love and share it.

We choose love when we see another's soul instead of their personality. When we look through to see the spirit shining through. We see their radiance streaming through the imperfection of their personalities' physical presence.

Waiting for feelings to develop means we are reactors instead of the creators we were meant to be. It's dis-empowering, we begin to believe that forces from outside of us control our wellbeing and circumstances.

Instead the decision to love allows us to step into our inherent role as creators. As designers of our experience we choose love instead of waiting for it to choose us. This gives us a much greater field of possibility and participation. We see others not only as who they seem to be, but for who they truly are. this frees them to open up this this aspect of themselves more fully in our company.

Amazingly, they begin to reveal portions of themselves they had hidden before and we discover that they now engender those automatic feelings of love we thought they could never evoke from us. Often they find themselves bathed in good feelings toward us as well, but that isn't the point.

It's often said that we can't love others until we love ourselves, but it's a conundrum because in reality, we cannot love ourselves until we love others. Because we are them, we are all one in essence.

Choosing to love saves time, we don't need to work on judgement, guilt, blame, we cut right to the chase, we love. These states evaporate in the presence of the fullness of a love based not on emotion but upon choice.

choosing to love is predicated upon the understanding that the face you see before you or the face you see in the mirror is one of many that have been worn. Like a masquerade ball we all show up in our costumes, concealed behind a mask that disguises our true identity.

Choosing to love gives the other permission to take off the mask and allows us to do the same. As we free others from the prison of illusion, through loving consciously, we free ourselves to be the love that we are.

Thanks for listening, I wrote this because I really needed to hear it. I also want to say that although obviously I appreciate appointments and donations but I'm also very appreciative of the communication both spoken and unspoken, the flowing energy I receive from all of you who read this newsletter. It comes to me as ongoing grace I truly feel in my life.
Choosing Love......Christie

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Pain Isn't Polite

Pain isn't polite conversation. I'm new to blogging but am willing to bet it's not politely correct to speak of it here either. People are uncomfortable with pain, their own and others. If you talk about pain in mixed company people begin to squirm a little. It's even worse than talking about politics or religion. Actually for me, pain was a religion, for awhile.

I needed it to be in order to move through it. I needed to look at it, dissect it, yes even wallow in it at first. As a victim of spousal abuse trying to get to freedom with two young children twenty years ago, I needed to feel the pain enough to leave. To be uncomfortable enough not to make excuses to stay. Yet I had to move through it quickly enough to find a way to escape, survive and raise my children. I did.

That was twenty years ago and unlike the battered wife syndome movies on Lifetime, I didn't walk happily off into the sunset, but I lived, quite an accomplishment at the time and even for a long time after.

But this isn't about the circumstances of pain but of pain itself. I mention the circumstances so that I can better explain my position on pain. After a very short period of time I was expected by most people to just "get over it", oh he won't come after you, he's forgotten by now" and on and on. Just for the record, it's been twenty yrs. and detectives employed by him contacted my adult daughter just three years ago. Again, off point, what is the point is that I never felt I was allowed to feel the pain and so completely work through it. It was discounted.

Yes, I went through lots and lots of counseling, which did help, when post traumatic stress syndrome can last for up to seven years and you still jump at loud noises behind you, it's a necessity. Yet it wasn' t enough to be validated for the pain I experienced if I was paying for that validation. So at some point in very close support groups and with close friends, or those I thought were, at the time, I have shared my pain. Much of the time to be shut down and told a variety of things. "Just get over it", that was so long ago, you need to heal, you enjoy being a victim" etc. Mostly it boiled down to, "just don't talk about it to me". In a particular spiritual support group one "spiritual" healer even became angry and very accusatory. I supposed her version of "tough healing". All of that is okay, as long as your pain isn't discounted. Whether it's past pain or present, each of us should be allowed to honor the experience we've encountered with pain. Not hold onto it, not embrace it, but honor that it happened, it was horrible and you've learned from it. Not, you will never ever speak of it to anyone again or you're not healed.

What's funny to me is that I've found several sites by women who have made a career of pain in one form or another, they just don't call it that. Whether it's art or discussion it's pain disguised and so more appropriate because it's couched in language that is indirect of their particular unique experience and so I suppose isn't as offensive. There's nothing wrong with this, in fact I believe it provides wonderful options for many, but let's be honest and call it what it is. This person took their "pain" and now utilize it creatively, but it's still their pain. If you read between the lines or the paint drops, it' still there pain bleeding through and that's okay.

I have no problem with it, it helps others without offending them but what offends me is our general inability to face what we're really talking about and the dishonoring of other's pain because we don't understand it. There are many particularities to pain; disease, divorce, death, abuse. But to the person experiencing it, it hurts, there's no heirarchy of pain worthiness. There's just no way to say, that pain you feel just isn't so bad, there's worse out there. Yep there is, but do you think you just helped alleviate theirs by pointing that out?

So I guess what I'm saying is this, I don't believe we should wallow in our pain, I also don't believe we need to "heal" it. It's a part of our experience, not something to be hidden away and shunned, as though our pain is dirty. We don't need to heal our experiences, they were what they were, they are what they are. We don't even need to heal ourselves so much as we need to honor who we are, what we've experienced and do the same for everyone, really everyone!

Pain isn't polite but it is real, it happens here on the planet, frequently. Yet pain may lead us to learn to navigate with less pain as we learn to traverse our path more steadily with trust. Trust in ourselves and others that we can and will honor everyone's experience with pain without a rating system and without falsity caused by fear. Now I'm not saying we should bring up our pain as cocktail party banter ( does anyone still have these?) I'm speaking of what would be intimate conversation with those close to us. It's not polite to speak of pain because it reminds others of their own, something they may have steadily worked at denying or hidden deep within their depths. Don't dig up yours or theirs.

So at the risk of being severely impolite, I simply propose that we honor one another's pain without inflicting judgment or canned aphorisms. We just listen, fully. We hold the space of honoring the other and their pain, knowing that in doing so we're helping to transform it.